Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
