Do you still have your period?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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