I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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