Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
