Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
