if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
