All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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