Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize