We won't sleep together?
I bet he comes in French.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
