we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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