is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
