There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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