all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
