im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
