Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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