What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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