How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
