I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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