Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
