Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
