is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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