Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
