Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
