he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
