Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize