Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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