i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
