Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
