I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
