accomplished twins. life is a go
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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