Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
