she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
