if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
