I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
