Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
