Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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