I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
