i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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