Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
