susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
