talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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