piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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