my being single is dangerous.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
