I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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