Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
