all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
