You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize