My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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