I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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