what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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