There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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