I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
