Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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