I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
