I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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