1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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