Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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