i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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