I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
