i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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